woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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