Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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