He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
