i think my mom watched the whole time
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
