she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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