so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
