I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
