I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
