I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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