D3 body, D1 cock
i already hear my dad disowning me
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
