hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
