I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
