Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
