i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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