I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
