Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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