This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
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