A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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