People in love make me want to vomit
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
