His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
In other news, I just burned my penis
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He shit in the fireplace
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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