Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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