Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
