I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
