Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
