there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
