is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
