My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
