I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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