What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
