..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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