hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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