All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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