Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
