My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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