I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
