I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Houston, we have a squirter
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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