i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
