I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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