just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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