i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
