do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
