Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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