great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
