I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Randomize
