The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
