We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
