So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
