that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
