i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
