do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
