dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
