I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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