News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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